“I tell ya, I’m alright now but last week I was in rough shape, ya know. My wife, she put me on a grapefruit diet. Seven days, I had 10 grapefruits a day. Ended up I lost 4 pounds, got a citrus rash.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“My wife’s father, he moved in with us. Has an electronic pacemaker. Every time he sneezes, the garage door opens.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“In my neighborhood there’s always problems. On my block there’s a beautiful children’s zoo. Last week four kids escaped.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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At 40, he quit comedy to make a living selling aluminum siding under the name Jack Roy. But then he returned to show business and his customers started seeing him on “The Ed Sullivan Show” with a different name: Rodney Dangerfield. #SundaysWithHoward | The Howard Stern Show
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“My wife is dumb. You wanna know how dumb she is? It takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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